


don't smile at me

by thunderylee



Category: NewS (Band)
Genre: Canon Universe, Casual Sex, M/M, boycrush, petition to stop tegoshi from wearing jeans, sexual side effects from anti-depressants, tego's resting bitch face, tegomasu comeback
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2020-04-06 15:49:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19065736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thunderylee/pseuds/thunderylee
Summary: Shige doesn't know what he's looking for, but he finds it in Tegoshi's jeans.





	don't smile at me

**Author's Note:**

> i took a staycation from work last week and got the horrible idea to marathon all of the news and tegomasu concerts, complete with documentaries and everything else i haven't watched in the past 8 years. one of my takeaways was the general progression of tegoshi's idol smile over the years, which didn't do much to overshadow how damn good he looks in jeans. title from the billie eilish ep i just found on spotify.

“Tegoshi looks good in jeans, doesn’t he?”

Shige chokes on literally nothing as he forces his eyes upward. “He looks the same as always.”

“But the denim accentuates his lower body so well,” Koyama goes on, oblivious to the way Shige cringes next to him. “The way it hugs his muscular thighs and calls your attention right _there_ , you know? Do girls even look at us like that? Like how we look at boobs.”

“Women aren’t that gross,” Shige coughs out, desperate to distract himself with a topic he’s passionate about.

“They should be,” Koyama says firmly. “Women have every right to be as perverted as we are.”

Shige’s mind is a little blown at the most feminist thing Koyama has ever said in his life, but before he can say as much, the monitor above the stage shows a close-up of Tegoshi’s crotch yet _again_  and Shige prides himself on not whining out loud.

Forget women. _Shige_ ’s the one who can’t look away, filled with unwanted thoughts of dropping to his knees and clutching onto denim-clad thighs. He doesn’t usually make it a habit to become sexually attracted to people he’s worked with for over half of his life, but he supposes those jeans are just that damn flattering.

Tegoshi would laugh for _days_  if he knew, which is the only reason Shige controls himself around his big-mouthed best friend. Always the member-love aficionado, Koyama would probably be _thrilled_  and shove Shige right into Tegoshi’s pants. Shige’s not too certain that the pair of them haven’t been messing around for years, especially lately. All of that showering together can’t be entirely platonic.

They’re at TegoMasu’s farewell concert, tucked up in the rafters away from the fans, and Koyama’s been boasting with pride since the first note. It’s a lot like the Seishun tour, with just TegoMasu and the band, steady cameras on the ground to cast up at them from a downward angle while Tegoshi rocks out.

It’s a lot different than when they’re all on stage together. Shige’s taller than Tegoshi, for one thing, so he’s usually looking down at Tegoshi’s fluffy hair that’s one bright color or another, though it’s currently a dark reddish-brown. Shige half expects Koyama to call him out while they’re crashing the MC, but all Koyama does is ask the audience if they think Tegoshi looks good in his jeans.

Meanwhile, idol-mode Tegoshi is so shameless that he probably wouldn’t care if Koyama groped him on stage, making all of these risqué poses to show off his lower body until Massu runs over and physically stops him. All Shige can do is laugh and shake his head, and _that_ _’_ _s_  when Koyama attacks.

“Shige thinks so too, right?”

Tegoshi turns to fix him with an incredulous look, amped up by a thousand in the middle of a concert, and Shige finds it in his best interest to play along. “They fit you very well,” he says with the straightest face he can muster.

Ever the instigator, Massu gasps and points accusingly. “Are you saying Tegoshi has gained weight?”

“No, no, no!” Koyama exclaims, and Shige throws his arms up in a big X while the audience screams their disagreement.

“It’s okay,” Tegoshi says, spinning around to address everyone. “I’m over thirty now, so I can let myself go.”

He’s already laughing before Koyama swats at him, the chorus of “what are you even saying” going unanswered as Tegoshi expertly switches the topic. Koyama and Shige hang out for a little longer before taking their leave, but not without promoting their individual and group activities like good idols.

“Why did you have to do that?” Shige hisses once they’re out of camera range. “That one has enough body issues.”

“Oh, it’s fine,” Koyama says dismissively. “It’s cute how protective you are of him though.”

“Shut your face, I hate his guts,” Shige mutters, but Koyama just shakes his head and leads them back to their seats.

Shige makes it through the rest of the concert with minimal damage, eventually becoming desensitized to Tegoshi’s jeans and the unwanted thoughts that burst from their seams. Since it’s more of a band concert, there aren’t anymore costume changes, and Tegoshi’s still wearing them during the emotional encore, where Shige’s more focused on the crying man clinging to him and holding back his own tears because Hanamuke is a really sad song.

“Please support us with NEWS from now on, okay?” Tegoshi says to their sobbing fans. “We will keep TegoMasu alive through them!”

They say heartfelt goodbyes to each member of their band, with whom they’ve been working since the first tour despite the long gaps in-between, then Tegoshi and Massu turn toward each other and give the most ridiculous, over-the-top farewell speeches that have Shige laughing out loud.

“We’re working together _tomorrow_ ,” Shige says, and Koyama snorts from where he’s still trying to compose himself.

Despite the antics, Tegoshi ends up sniffling, and it must be real because he’s not smiling anymore. Massu looks as surprised as Shige feels, though Massu probably isn’t hating himself for thinking it’s a beautiful sight.

“Tegoshi is so pretty when he lets his true feelings show, isn’t he?” Koyama speaks Shige’s mind, and this time Shige doesn’t fight it and simply nods.

Massu ends up giving Tegoshi an awkward pat on the back, but then Tegoshi jumps into his arms and that’s definitely scripted because Tegoshi doesn’t care for being picked up anymore. The idol smile is back as they wave to their fans, Massu carrying Tegoshi all the way off the stage like a bag of groceries.

They come out again after a few minutes of uproarious chanting, this time with Massu on Tegoshi’s back. Tegoshi makes it a quarter way across the stage before face-planting, both of them rolling over in laughter as the intro to Neko Chuudoku starts. They’re both wearing the cat ears and it ends the concert on a high note, Koyama grinning through his tears and making cat paws along with them.

After the final curtain falls, Koyama drags Shige backstage where Koyama immediately takes Tegoshi into his arms despite the youngest dripping with sweat. Massu’s already in the shower, and he only looks a little surprised to see them when he returns in his regular clothes.

“We didn’t have plans, did we?” Massu asks. “I already have something else going on.”

“It’s fine,” Koyama says, turning his attention to Massu now that Tegoshi has wriggled his way out of their leader’s hold. Shige knows from experience it does not feel good to be smothered while overheated after a concert—not that that has stopped Koyama before.

Tegoshi’s “off” switch is already on, resting bitch face set as he grabs his things to head to the shower, but Shige cuts him off halfway down the hallway. “Hey, you know I wasn’t commenting on your weight, right?”

“Huh?” Tegoshi asks, squinting through the sweat that’s undoubtedly stinging his eyes as he looks up at Shige. “What are you talking about?”

“Your jeans, during the MC,” Shige reiterates, trying to avoid repeating what he had actually said. “I wouldn’t say something like that to you. Ever.”

“Oh.” Tegoshi wipes his face and nods. “Okay. Thanks.”

He ducks under Shige’s arm and Shige figures that’s good enough. Shrugging to himself, Shige starts to head back to the dressing room, but then Tegoshi spins on his heel and walks right up into Shige’s face. Shige’s eyes grow wide as he approaches, because Tegoshi’s brows are furrowed and without his idol grin he looks like he’s about to punch Shige in the nose.

“What did you mean, then?” Tegoshi asks, his voice calm and casual while his face is the exact opposite. “Since when do you look at me like that?”

Something Shige both loves and hates about Tegoshi is how direct he is, the lack of shame leading to absolutely no remorse about saying what’s on his mind and asking what he wants to know. It drives Shige crazy, because Shige thinks and overthinks his words and reactions to the point where he often doesn’t end up saying anything on the slim chance that it could be misinterpreted.

“Koyama,” Shige answers, inevitably deciding that throwing his best friend under the bus is the best way to get out of this unscathed. “He was saying that you look good, and he wanted to bully me into saying it too.”

“You don’t think I look good in my jeans?” Tegoshi asks, and damn him for choosing this moment to make eye contact, unlike any other time when he would be obliviously looking elsewhere. “That’s more offensive than if you said I got fat, you know.”

“Why do you need me to praise you?” Shige counter-asks, his traitorous voice cracking at the question. “And for the record, you’re healthy now, so don’t you dare go back to dieting because of Massu’s tasteless joke, you understand?”

Tegoshi stares at him expressionlessly for a few seconds, and Shige’s mildly terrified that Tegoshi’s going to lash out at him for bringing up old drama. He hasn’t spent enough time with this one off-camera to be able to predict how he will react to things when the fans won’t see it, the lack of smile enough to have Shige thinking the worst.

“Thank you for caring about me,” Tegoshi finally says, the corners of his mouth turning up just a little, and somehow it’s more effective than his flashy grins. “Come find me when you’re ready to talk about your inexplicable attraction to me.”

Shige’s still gaping indignantly as Tegoshi spins once more, this time completing his path to the shower. He has no idea whether Tegoshi’s serious or not; most of what Tegoshi says isn’t serious, but most of Shige’s interaction with him has been in front of a camera.

“What happened?” Koyama asks the minute Shige returns to the dressing room, and he must look pretty distraught if Koyama can read it on his face. “Is he mad at you for the MC?”

“No,” Shige answers, reaching up to scratch the back of his head. “He thinks I want him.”

Koyama leans back and folds his arms, doing a very bad job of containing his amusement. “Do you?”

“Shut _up_ ,” Shige grumbles as he pushes his fists into his eyes in an attempt to get rid of the images behind them. It doesn’t work.

“The showers at this venue aren’t big enough for two people,” Massu supplies helpfully, patting Shige on the back as he walks by with all of his belongings. “Feel free to stay and wait for him, but don’t fuck with his head. He deserves better than that.”

Shige stares as Massu takes his leave, fist-pounding with Koyama on his way out. “What the hell?”

“You’re not the only one who’s protective of our baby,” Koyama tells him, the stern look on his face telling Shige he’s about to get a rare Leader lecture too. “You know I’m on team TegoShige, but you’re acting like being attracted to him is some horrible thing and you’re going to regret it you go through with it. Tegoshi is someone precious to be appreciated and treasured, just like Shige is. If you don’t agree, you need to walk away now.”

Those words weigh heavy on Shige’s heart as he takes a deep breath. If it were anyone else instead of him, he’d probably be lecturing them too. He’s been present for every single one of Tegoshi’s tragic breakups, or even just friends with benefits gone sour, and Shige never wants to see Tegoshi that dark again. Tegoshi doesn’t even date anymore, distracting himself with work and soccer and whatever he’s doing with Koyama so that he doesn’t focus on how lonely he is. Emma brightens his life considerably, but she can only do so much.

“Shigeaki,” Koyama says firmly, and Shige pulls his attention back to reality. “Are you leaving with me or not?”

Shige considers his options. He could leave and take his time thinking about it, or he could stay and think about it while Tegoshi finishes showering. The former has the added benefit of putting space between them and seeing if he still feels this way tomorrow when they work together, but it also gives him a surefire way to chicken out. If he leaves, that’s pretty much a guarantee that nothing is going to happen between them, and Shige doesn’t know if that’s what he wants or not.

“I’ll stay,” Shige decides, and Koyama raises an eyebrow. “Me staying isn’t a commitment to anything, _Keiichiro_. It just means I’m going to talk to him about it.”

“That’s good,” Koyama says, nodding to himself as he starts to head out. “Text me when you have an update. I don’t want to find out when one of you limps into our meeting.”

“Oh my _god_ ,” Shige mutters, dropping his head into his hands while Koyama cackles. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Koyama pries Shige’s hands open, blinking rapidly in Shige’s face before declaring, “Team TegoShige, go!” and disappearing out the dressing room door.

It’s eerily quiet as Shige waits for Tegoshi. In the distance, he hears the sounds of things being packed up and other after-concert activities, but inside the room it’s silent. He sees Tegoshi’s things strewn around and smiles at the familiarity, remembering how they would chide him for treating the dressing room like his own personal home during NEWS concerts. Ryo used to say that Tegoshi was marking his territory, but that was back when Tegoshi wore his idol face for everyone and subsequently everyone was smitten with him.

He really only started turning it off around the other members a couple years ago. Even after the last reformation, which is now half of their group life ago, he was all smiles and jokes even when they had to address heavy topics between the four of them. It took a scandal threatening to sever his relationship with his fans to break down his walls, leading him to reach out for help and confide in both Koyama and Shige about his deepest fear—betraying the people to whom he owes his entire career.

In a way, Shige feels honored to be one of the few people Tegoshi drops the facade around, even if he had been there in the early years when Tegoshi would practice smiling for hours so that he wouldn’t look so scary. Massu, the natural smile maker, helped him every day, training him just like it was another dance choreography, until it became an automatic reflex upon seeing a camera. Now, it’s second nature, but it has to be tiring to keep up for so long—not to mention misleading to anyone who would want to know him intimately.

“You’re still here,” a voice breaks him out of his thoughts, and Shige turns to find the very person who had been occupying them towel-drying his hair in a worn T-shirt and even more worn jeans. This pair fits him even better than the ones he’d worn on stage, clinging to his body like a second skin, and Shige knows he made the right decision when he has to literally drag his eyes up to Tegoshi’s face.

“I found you,” Shige says, trying to sound cute, and Tegoshi laughs.

“Let me pack up and we’ll go,” is all Tegoshi says before gathering his things with practiced ease. It’s a far cry from the spoiled brat Koyama used to pack for all the time, and Shige sees a flash of the Tegoshi from back then next to the Tegoshi of today. Not only the smile is different.

“I feel things when I look at you,” Shige blurts out; Tegoshi pauses in the midst of stuffing clothes into a bag. “It would be easy if it was just sexual attraction, but it’s not. I keep thinking about the past, how we’ve both grown up, and how I've really only met you for the first time a little while ago.”

“And?” Tegoshi prompts, standing up straight to fold his arms expectantly, his jeans even more distracting with that hard face scrutinizing him.

“And…I don’t know,” Shige answers honestly. “I just…want you.”

Tegoshi laughs out loud, then tries to stop himself with what looks like a lot of effort before giving Shige a rare apologetic face. “I’m sorry, I’m not laughing at you, I swear. It’s the situation. I mean, I had the _biggest_  crush on you, right? You had to know that.”

“You did?” Shige asks.

“You honestly didn’t know?” Tegoshi shakes his head. “It’s just funny that it took me wearing jeans on stage ten years later to get you to look at me that way. I wear them all the time, you know.”

“This is the first time I’ve noticed since I’ve learned that you’re not actually a selfish, insufferable brat,” Shige tries to explain, and they stare at each other for a few very long seconds before Tegoshi gives the dressing room one last glance and hoists his bag over his shoulder.

“Okay!” he exaggerates, flashing a very fake expression of excitement like they’re recording some kind of special event. “Let’s work well together, yeah?”

Shige laughs as Tegoshi’s face abruptly returns to normal. “I’ll do my best.”

Now Tegoshi cracks up, elbowing Shige pointedly as he passes by. Shige follows, bowing politely to the remaining staff that Tegoshi praises on their way out, cranking up the idol charm one last time. There’s such a drastic contrast that it feels like Tegoshi is two different people in the same body, and even though Tegoshi insists that the idol face is the one everyone wants to see, Shige’s thinks the one behind it is much more favorable.

Tegoshi’s driver doesn’t give his additional passenger a second glance, nodding to them both as they settle in the backseat and get buckled up. “Is it all right if we go to your place?” Tegoshi asks, not bothering to keep his voice down. “Emma’s still at my mom’s and I definitely will not want to drive you home later.”

“Yeah, that’s fine,” Shige agrees, trying to remember if he cleaned up before he left earlier today. “It might be messy though.”

“I don’t care,” Tegoshi says with a shrug, then leans over to lay his head on Shige’s shoulder. Shige rests his head against Tegoshi’s on instinct, smelling the fresh shampoo and feeling the warmth of the body that’s curled up as close as he can manage with their seat belts on. “You’ll have to give the driver your address," Tegoshi mumbles. "I don’t know where you live.”

He wouldn’t. Shige’s never invited him over before—he hasn’t had a reason to. The four of them haven’t met in their private time for a long while, blessed with enough work to already see each other consistently. Even Koyama hasn’t been to Shige’s place in a couple years, having embraced the joys of being alone and spoiling his cat. Shige thinks the last time they all got together at someone’s apartment was actually at Massu’s, for their shared birthday last year. Or maybe the year before.

It doesn’t matter anyway. Tegoshi whines at his pillow moving when Shige leans forward to give the driver his address, snuggling even closer the second he returns. He’s got his arm resting on Shige’s thigh and Shige reaches over to take his hand, smiling when Tegoshi automatically laces their fingers together. It feels nice in a way that Shige hasn’t experienced in a long time, more than just sexual attraction but not as scary as romantic love.

Tegoshi whines again when they reach Shige’s building, though he hops right out of the car and ends up ahead of Shige after they both thank the driver. He only makes it so far because he doesn’t actually know where he’s going, but he’s still on Shige’s heels once Shige takes the lead.

Shige’s apartment is thankfully not that messy, only some strewn clothes and this morning’s dishes, of which Tegoshi does not appear to take notice. Shige watches him curiously as he unlaces his boots and steps into Shige’s living room, looking around like he’s taking in all of the decor.

“Do you want anything to drink, or…?” Shige trails off, remembering his manners even for this one, and Tegoshi nods absently, like he’s distracted by something Shige can’t see. “Alcohol or no?”

“No,” Tegoshi answers. “Maybe later, but not right now.”

Shige nods and puts on some tea like a good host. Tegoshi wanders away and Shige thinks nothing of it, figuring that he doesn’t have anything that he wouldn’t want Tegoshi to see in any of the back rooms. He’s going to end up in one of them anyway.

He’s not back by the time the tea’s done, and Shige finds him in the spare bedroom that he’s made into an office. Since he’s been writing so much, he’d gone all out for comfortable furniture and aesthetically-pleasing art to create an inspirational atmosphere.

“You do all your writing in here?” Tegoshi asks, sounding mildly interested.

“When I’m not working,” Shige answers. He watches Tegoshi spin around in his leather desk chair and lean it back as far as it will go, smiling at the sight. “Sometimes I need a change of scenery, so I go to the park or a cafe.”

Tegoshi nods from where he’s mostly upside-down, staring at Shige’s ceiling. “You ever fuck in this chair?”

It’s so deadpan that Shige laughs, shaking his head at the incredulity. “I have not. It would probably break.”

“Shame,” Tegoshi says, then jumps back to his feet in one swift movement. “You’re the kind of boring person who only does it in a bed, right?”

“That’s not true,” Shige contests, rising to Tegoshi’s bait like he always does. “I’ve done it in a car.”

“Ooh,” Tegoshi replies sarcastically. “How impressive.”

“Where have you done it, if I’m so boring?” Shige demands.

Tegoshi scrunches up his face in thought, and it’s kind of adorable. “Three different kinds of chairs, back of the couch, counter—kitchen and bathroom, balcony, hood _and_  trunk of my car and the car I had before that, the back room of a library, in the ocean, up against a tree, too many bathrooms and showers to count—”

“Okay, okay,” Shige cuts him off, and Tegoshi laughs at what must be an amazing look on his face. “I feel like I should make you get tested.”

“Most of those were with the same person,” Tegoshi tells him, and Shige feels a little guilty for assuming. “And I got tested with my last partner. You?”

Shige starts at the sudden inquisition. “I haven’t had sex in six years,” he answers after counting in his head. “It’s not something I feel like doing a lot.”

“What makes me so special then?” Tegoshi asks, closing the distance between them yet again by stepping up into Shige’s personal space.

“I don’t really know,” Shige answers honestly. “I don’t understand why I feel or don’t feel the things I do. I just _do_.”

Tegoshi makes a noncommittal noise and stares right into Shige’s eyes, glancing from one to the other with no expression on his face. Shige wonders what he’s looking for.

Then he smiles and wraps his arms around Shige’s shoulders, nuzzling his face into Shige’s neck that has Shige inhaling deeply. He returns the embrace, getting used to having Tegoshi’s body so close to his, whatever he’s feeling increasing with each passing second.

“You know, I did perform two concerts today,” Tegoshi says against his skin. “I think lying down for a while would be good.”

“I wouldn’t want to be _boring—_ ” Shige starts to quip, but then Tegoshi’s lips are on his and everything he has ever known flies out of his head. If there had been any question about whether he wanted this or not, they’re answered in the form of him holding Tegoshi securely, seeking out more of Tegoshi’s mouth until the first lick of Tegoshi’s tongue has a surge of electricity hitting him where he stands.

“Take me to bed, Shige,” Tegoshi whispers without pulling away, and Shige doesn’t think twice about navigating them into the next room.

Tegoshi’s dark hair looks nice all splayed out on Shige’s pillow, though that’s all Shige gets to see before he’s pulled back into another alluring kiss. The body beneath his wraps around him, both arms and legs to press as close as possible, and Tegoshi’s the one to gasp when an arousal Shige hadn’t known he had rubs against the fly of those jeans.

“Wow, you _do_ want me,” Tegoshi says, sounding surprised, and Shige pries his eyes open to find Tegoshi’s face a little flushed with hooded lids. “I know you said you did, but I didn’t believe it until just now.”

“ _Believe_ ,” Shige says in English, just like Tegoshi used to back when NEWS was six, and Tegoshi bursts out laughing so hard that he shakes Shige from the force. “Sorry, I had to,” Shige goes on. “I am not at all sexy right now.”

“That’s for me to decide, isn’t it?” Tegoshi asks, lifting a hand to sift through Shige’s unstyled hair. “You are on top of me, in bed, _hard_  for me, kissing my breath away. As the sole judge and jury here, I’m going to have to submit the verdict that you’re sexy as fuck.”

Shige feels his face heating up even more, but then Tegoshi’s pulling him back down and he loses himself in Tegoshi’s mouth once again. Kissing Tegoshi is so addictive that it’s almost like there’s some kind of drug on his lips and tongue, because every touch takes Shige higher and higher until all he knows is Tegoshi beneath him, all around him, _inside_ him—figuratively, at least for the time being.

Tegoshi’s not one to stay still normally, let alone when he’s excited, though Shige hasn’t had been able to speak for this particular type of excitement until now. Warm hands slide up his sides, feeling the muscles under his shirt until Tegoshi slides the garment over his head. They have to break their kiss to get it all the way off, and Shige takes the opportunity to rid Tegoshi of his shirt as well.

Now Shige’s the one exploring Tegoshi’s chest, paying close attention to what makes him squirm and what makes him moan, a sound Shige didn’t know how badly he wanted to hear until he felt it against his tongue. He finds that Tegoshi likes his nipples played with and pries himself away from the haven that is Tegoshi’s mouth to kiss his way down Tegoshi’s throat and chest, flicking one of the nipples with his tongue while he takes the other one between his thumb and forefinger.

It’s worth it when Tegoshi’s next moan is unrestrained, echoing between Shige’s ears while those fingers keep tousling Shige’s hair. They tug a bit and Shige lets out a small whine, which has Tegoshi shuddering from the stimulation. Then Shige switches nipples and lowers his hands to Tegoshi’s abdomen, which flutters under his touch, and finally the denim of those jeans are under his palms and a fresh wave of arousal crashes over him as he feels the firm muscles for himself.

“Shige,” Tegoshi gasps, and Shige looks up through his bangs to see Tegoshi staring down at him with something like awe. This only serves to make Shige kiss along Tegoshi’s abdomen, lingering just above his belt while continuing to squeeze the backs of Tegoshi’s thighs, moving up to the flesh of his ass. “ _Shige._ ”

“Yes?” Shige replies facetiously, and Tegoshi scoffs. “You keep saying my name, and I’m not even doing anything yet.”

“Yet,” Tegoshi repeats. “What is it that you want to do down there, huh?”

“What do you think?” Shige replies, a growl slipping into his voice as he crosses the threshold of Tegoshi’s belt and nuzzles the fly that’s now filled out with a hard mass. “This is _all_  I could think about earlier, every time the camera shot you from below. You drive me crazy.”

“Me?” Tegoshi replies innocently, or as innocently as he can manage amidst his soft moans. “All I did was get dressed.”

Shige opens his mouth to argue some more, then determines a better use for it and brings both of his hands around to unfasten Tegoshi’s belt. The button is next, then the zipper, and Shige’s already guiding Tegoshi’s cock past his lips before he gets the jeans down Tegoshi’s hips.

“ _Shige_ ,” Tegoshi moans out again, and Shige’s pride swells exponentially as Tegoshi hardens even more against his tongue. “Your _mouth_ , oh my god.”

Shige’s hands return to Tegoshi’s denim-clad thighs, squeezing those enticing muscles as he sucks Tegoshi in and out at a gradual pace. He doesn’t want it to end like this, doesn’t want to rush, and Tegoshi doesn’t seem keen on moving any faster as he gently strokes Shige’s hair and arches with each slow swallow Shige makes around him.

It’s been so long that Shige had forgotten how much he enjoys doing this, or maybe he just enjoys doing it to Tegoshi. His senses are on overload with the smooth texture in his mouth, the beautiful melody of Tegoshi’s moaning, and whirlwind of taste and scent that’s inherently Tegoshi. The hand that’s still in his hair tugs a little harder, almost like he’s testing how hard he can pull it, and Shige can’t stop himself from letting out his own moan around Tegoshi’s cock.

“You like this?” Tegoshi asks, his voice airy and lower than Shige’s used to, turning him on even more. Then Tegoshi _twists_  a fist-full of his hair and Shige cries out loud, the pain mixing with pleasure that has him hollowing out his cheeks to suck Tegoshi harder. “Mm, Shige, that feels good. Tell me if I pull too hard, okay?”

Shige makes a noise that could be taken as affirming and that sharp sting returns, fueling him to take the head of Tegoshi’s cock into the back of his throat and swallow around him. Tegoshi’s moans get louder, his thighs starting to tremble in Shige’s hands, the undeniable prelude to orgasm that Shige’s ready for, _yearning_  for. Even if Tegoshi’s out for the rest of the night, Shige will be happy with just this, satisfied with making his earlier fantasy a reality.

“Ugh, Shige, stop,” Tegoshi gasps out, and Shige immediately lifts off and looks up at Tegoshi in concern. The fingers in his hair turn gentle again as Tegoshi frowns. “My meds…they make it really hard for me to finish. It’s like I’m on the edge for _ever_ , and then nothing. I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s fine,” Shige assures him, pushing himself back up Tegoshi’s body to press a kiss to his lips. He hopes it conveys everything he doesn’t want to say out loud. “We can take a break.”

“ _Or_  I can play with you,” Tegoshi says pointedly, and the next second has Shige on his back with Tegoshi hovering over him. “Time for you to say _my_  name.”

Shige wants to make a joke about their egos being too big to fit in one bed, but then Tegoshi’s back in his mouth and groping between his legs. Shige gasps at the contact and kisses back heatedly, tongues swirling together as he wraps his arms around Tegoshi’s neck and pulls him down. Tegoshi squeezes him through his pants a few times before shoving them down his legs, leaving _all_  of Shige’s skin bare to the cool air that seems to caress him along with Tegoshi’s hands.

The weight on top of him disappears, then his length is encased in a wet warmth. “ _Yuuya_ ,” he gets out, the depth of his voice vibrating his own head, and he can swear he feels Tegoshi grinning around his cock. He’s only sucking around the head, but that’s more than enough to have Shige squirming and twisting the sheets with both hands. Tegoshi stretches his arms up and down Shige’s body, touching him from the top of his ribs all the way down to his calves, then slides up the back of his legs to squeeze his ass cheeks.

The rough grip spreads open an area that has Shige wanting much more than a blowjob, regardless of his original intentions. He can’t find any words amidst the moans that have taken over his lungs, so he does the next best thing and yanks Tegoshi up by his hair, catching his breath while Tegoshi gives him a questioning look.

“Will you…” Shige starts, suddenly nervous under Tegoshi’s full attention. “Will you…”

After a few seconds of silence, Tegoshi gives him a bratty smile. “I can’t do it if you won’t tell me what you want.”

In response, Shige leans over to his nightstand and tosses a tube at Tegoshi, hitting him right in the middle of his chest. Tegoshi figures out what it is right away, his smile falling as he looks at Shige in disbelief. Shige holds his eyes, taking a deep breath as he lifts his legs in the most blatant invitation he can think of.

“You want me to go inside you?” Tegoshi asks, and Shige nods. “Okay. I will.”

Shige gives him a relieved smile, which is quickly wiped off of his face when Tegoshi fuses their mouths together again. There is nothing slow and sensual about this kiss; Shige feels _devoured_ , Tegoshi’s lips and tongue demanding all of Shige’s attention, leaving none for what’s about to happen between his legs.

The first touch to his rim has him jerking, but Tegoshi seems to have anticipated that and holds him still. He’s barely inside before Shige’s whimpering, clutching into Tegoshi’s back for something to hold onto, because he hasn’t done this for a long time and he’d forgotten how _amazing_  it feels. Tegoshi opens him slowly and gently, kissing him as he gets in another finger, curling them at different angles until Shige tears his mouth away and arches beneath him.

“Right there?” Tegoshi asks, prodding that spot again, and Shige answers by thrashing around and moaning. “You’re such a beautiful mess, Shige. Are you gonna come like this?”

Shige shakes his head.

“Then how?” Tegoshi stretches himself on top of Shige’s trembling body, his still-hard cock poking Shige’s thigh and reminding him of its existence. “I can do this while I suck you off, if you want.”

"I want…” Shige forces out, the words coming out even more aggressive than he’d intended. “Yuuya.”

“Yes?” Tegoshi leans down to kiss him again, then drags his lips up Shige’s jawline to his ear. “What do you want me to do to you?”

“ _Fuck me_ ,” Shige growls, and Tegoshi makes a pleased noise as he reaches into the pocket of his jeans.

“As you wish,” Tegoshi whispers into his ear, the words leaving a lingering tingle that Shige feels all the way in his toes. “Like this?”

“Like this,” Shige answers, lifting his knees closer to his chest while Tegoshi fumbles with the condom. Then there are three fingers probing him deep inside and Shige’s body rocks back on instinct, desperate to feel more.

“You’re so fucking hot right now,” Tegoshi says, pressing the words into Shige’s inner thigh. “Thank you for allowing me to see you like this.”

Shige feels more embarrassed at hearing those polite words than the position he’s in right now, but all he does is try to relax as Tegoshi settles on top of him and presses a chaste kiss to his lips.

They both moan as he pushes in, Shige’s arms looping around Tegoshi’s shoulders to keep him close. Tegoshi moans so loudly that it shakes them both, then he’s moving slowly and sharply, pulling a low groan from Shige’s throat with every thrust. This position doesn’t lend very well to any kind of intimacy, but Tegoshi manages to make as much physical contact as possible with his arms looped around Shige’s knees and his face pressed into Shige’s chest, soft moans dying on his skin.

Shige’s fingers find their way to Tegoshi’s hair as he’s filled over and over, stroking gently like Tegoshi needs the encouragement. Maybe he does—Shige doesn’t know what’s going on in his mind right now. He’s already sweating, more than after his concert, the steady rock of his hips making their bodies slide together. The angle has Shige arching beneath him, throwing his head back with a moan that feels like it’s been torn straight out of his lungs with each plunge of Tegoshi deep inside of him.

“Yuuya,” Shige gets out, and Tegoshi purrs. “Yuuya, touch me.”

“Can’t reach,” Tegoshi mumbles, and Shige realizes that Tegoshi is using all of his strength to cling to Shige’s legs and thrust into him. “I can do it, but I’ll have to stop.”

“No,” Shige says firmly, and Tegoshi lifts his head to give Shige a look that half apologetic and half smirk. Seeing that one’s beautiful face mid-coital does weird floppy things to Shige’s heart, and he doesn’t think twice about reaching down between their sweat-slicked bodies and taking his own cock in hand.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Tegoshi hisses as Shige strokes himself fluidly, finally getting relief. “That is so hot. You’re so hot. _Shige_.”

All Shige can do is moan in response, but Tegoshi seems to understand that as he quickens his pace and gets louder in his vocal appreciation. One of Shige’s hands is still in Tegoshi’s hair, continuing to sift through the now damp curls as Tegoshi starts to tremble again and abruptly falls still, his groan of frustration accompanied by a punch to the mattress.

“Don’t force yourself,” Shige tells him, twisting his body forward to press a kiss to Tegoshi’s scrunched up forehead. “Just let it happen. I’m not in a rush.”

“I wanna _come_ ,” Tegoshi whines as he leans back on his heels, punctuating his statement with a hard thrust that has Shige rocking back in contrast. “I _never_  thought I would get to be like this with you, and now that I am, I can’t even do it properly. Twenty-year-old Yuuya is so disappointed with me.”

“Hey,” Shige says, struggling to focus enough to speak because the new angle feels _really good_. "Let me get on top.”

Tegoshi makes an approving noise and Shige rolls them over, taking a few seconds to stretch his legs before straddling Tegoshi’s waist. Tegoshi’s looking at him in awe, like he can’t believe Shige hasn’t kicked him out of bed yet, and it hurts Shige’s heart enough to lean down and kiss him, feeling Tegoshi come back alive beneath him.

He scoots back enough to take Tegoshi back inside him, tasting the desperate moan as Tegoshi thrusts up. “Twenty-year-old Yuuya would have been content to lie there and enjoy it,” Shige teases as he sits up and sinks all the way down onto Tegoshi’s cock.

Tegoshi laughs despite himself, his hands firm on Shige thighs as he settles back against Shige’s pillow. “You gonna put on a show for me?”

“I could,” Shige answers. He trails his fingers down his chest, watching Tegoshi’s eyes follow the entire path. “Don’t think—”

“ _Feel_ ,” Tegoshi finishes with another laugh. “Give me something to feel then.”

Shige raises an eyebrow at the demand, though his urge to move overrides any desire to be ornery. He slowly rocks his hips back and forth as he curls his fingers around his cock, the overwhelming stimulation making his head fall back. He can’t see Tegoshi’s face anymore, but he doesn’t have to, the body beneath his pushing up with each thrust forward. Tegoshi bends his knees and Shige leans back against them, grateful for the support as he holds onto one of Tegoshi’s thighs with the hand that’s not dutifully pumping himself.

“Shit, I’m close,” Shige gasps out, and Tegoshi moans like that’s all he can say. “Do you want me to come, or—”

“Don’t stop,” Tegoshi says, his words laced with harsh breaths, and Shige slows down his hand while speeding up his hips. “Shige… _Shige_.”

Tegoshi starts to falter again, but Shige doesn’t stop and Tegoshi lets out a wail that pierces his ears, jerking violently beneath Shige as he finally lets go. Shige lifts his heavy head in time to catch the end of it, Tegoshi’s chest heaving with much-needed air as he struggles to open his eyes.

“Better?” Shige asks, and Tegoshi’s face breaks into a grin as he nods slowly. “That looked intense.”

“It was,” Tegoshi replies, his breathing still staggered. “Give me a minute and I’ll take care of you.”

Shige hums in approval as he leans down to kiss Tegoshi’s lips. Tegoshi inhales sharply and kisses him back, gently pulling out of Shige’s body before guiding Shige down into his arms. Shige’s cock bumps Tegoshi’s stomach and he moans into Tegoshi’s mouth, his hand quickly returning to where it was.

“Or you can do it yourself,” Tegoshi says pointedly, and Shige laughs. “You did wait a long time for me.”

“It’s not going to take much.” Shige stops holding back and jerks himself quickly, at least until Tegoshi bats him out of the way and takes his place. “Oh. Oh, _Yuuya_. Just like that.”

“Mm, Shige, come for me,” Tegoshi whispers against Shige’s lips, which can’t actually stay closed as the pressure accumulates in his groin. “Come all over me.”

It’s the dirty words that push him over the edge, crying out into Tegoshi’s mouth that kisses him through his orgasm, arms looping around his neck to hold him close. Each lick of Tegoshi’s tongue seems to result in aftershocks, gravity shifting until Shige’s on his side with Tegoshi curled up in front of him.

Tegoshi sighs happily when they part, his fingers lingering on Shige’s face to push the sweaty hair out of his eyes. “We both need a shower.”

“Mine’s big enough for two,” Shige says, though it takes quite a while to tear his mouth away from Tegoshi’s long enough to relocate.

Once they’re clean, Shige frowns at the tray of tea they never drank and dumps it in the sink. “Shall we drink alcohol now?”

“Yes,” Tegoshi agrees easily, joining Shige in the kitchen with absolutely no clothes on.

“You can wear something of mine,” Shige says pointedly, and Tegoshi rolls his eyes as he disappears back down the hall.

When he returns, drowning in a Neverland tour shirt and sweat shorts, he’s typing on his phone and Shige leaves him to it. They settle on the couch with a couple bottles of beer and Shige’s the one who snuggles up to Tegoshi, yearning for attention after such an intimate activity. Tegoshi is happy to oblige, actually abandoning his phone to embrace Shige with both arms, and all of the protests and resentment Shige has had in response to whatever he’s feeling for Tegoshi simply fade away.

“Thanks for being patient with me,” Tegoshi says into his hair. “As side effects go, it’s not the worst thing ever, but it sure is frustrating. I’d stop taking it, but I don’t want to be sad again.”

“I don’t want you to be sad again either,” Shige says, squeezing Tegoshi’s arms that squeeze him back. “Wanna sleep over?”

“I was hoping you’d say that.” Tegoshi yawns. “I’m so _tired_. All that effort to have sex after _two concerts_.”

“Good job,” Shige says, and Tegoshi’s laugh brightens his life.

They manage to finish their beers before they return to Shige’s bed, where Shige uses the last of his effort to change his sheets before crashing into it. The mattress dips with Tegoshi’s weight, and Shige allows himself to be moved around however Tegoshi wants to cuddle with him. He’s almost asleep when he remembers about Koyama.

“Damn it,” he mutters, ignoring Tegoshi’s sleepy questioning noise to reach for his phone. It takes him a second to focus on the bright screen, and when he does, he sees that he already has a message from Koyama.

It’s a screencap of what looks like Koyama’s chat window with Tegoshi, dated about an hour ago.

 _Tego-nyan: Thank you._  
  _Leader K: You finally did it, huh? That only took 12 years._  
_Tego-nyan: I'm so happy._  
_Leader K: Take care of my Shige, okay? His heart is still immature when it comes to these matters._  
_Tego-nyan: I’ll do my best._

“Something you want to tell me?” Shige asks the man next to him, who whines as he shakes his head. “You sure?”

A nod.

Shige places his phone on the nightstand and returns to Tegoshi, scrunching the back of his head a few times before settling back into his embrace. “Well, when you want to confess that your crush on me never ended, you know where to find me.”

Tegoshi just burrows his head into Shige’s neck and mumbles, “I already found you.” 


End file.
